A great insight at a recent AA meeting, “when I applied the Program in all my affairs, what was out of character became my character.”
Her share continued, “my sponsor had me list assets and liabilities in my inventories; thank God she did.
Left to myself, I would have focused only on my liabilities, the moments of shame and embarrassment, the events of trouble and fear. But she pointed out that businesses that conduct inventories include bad and good stock; they are interested in the whole picture. They want to know good and bad and everything in between. Then they can assess what needs to change.
“And she pointed out that in business, inventories changed slowly. Companies would not throw out bad stock; it took time to sell it in an orderly manner and purchase more good stock to replace the bad. Replacing character defects would take time as well.
“When I included the good and the bad in my inventories, I saw that I had flickers of character assets. But they were only flickers. If I demonstrated a good character quality, I would recover quickly. Like Churchill said about a political opponent, he will occasionally stumble over the truth but quickly recover and continue on his wrong-headed path. That was the story with my defects. Positive character traits would sometimes pop up, but I would quickly recover and revert to my usual habits and reactions when they did.
“Doing inventories at the end of each day and the end of each year, I learned to nurture them like the tiny sparks to start a campfire. I would learn to blow on them and make them hotter and larger, giving them oxygen to grow. Pretty soon, I had a good fire roaring.
“And by making amends when I was wrong, working with my Higher Power to remove defects and continued self-examination, my behaviours changed. And with my changes in behaviour, my character changed.
“I have used a business metaphor for inventories and a campfire metaphor with sparks; I only have one more. The surface habits of behaviour seeped down into the groundwater of my character. It took time to seep down and become part of the character groundwater I could draw on when needed, it was lodged deep in my sedimentary character.
“There, that is the last metaphor, thanks I will pass.”
It was a good share and three good metaphors, each of which was valid. We change slowly, using sparks to inflame the good behaviours and soon we have deep reservoirs of habit and character.
With the tools of the Program, we change. And the change is not trivial or temporary; it is not a change in behaviour but a change in character.
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This reminds me that the “Why” of a behaviour, is more important that the “What” of the behaviour if we are going to have lifelong change.
John