“Unexpected events used to make me angry and anxious.”
But now, trusting in God for all outcomes, unexpected events are merely a surprise.

This was a wonderful share at an AA meeting.

Later, when I reflected on the share, I thought to myself, “I am nowhere near that level of serenity, but while I am striving for this marvelous state of mind and spirit, I can use that message as a yardstick of my spiritual condition … if I am angry or anxious, then I am not trusting God for all outcomes. If I am more surprised than anxious, I am on the right track.”

Finding Serenity: Trusting God in Unexpected Moments

Let me explain. Anxiety and anger are my “favourite” emotions. Not because I like them. Because they are frequent. They must be favourites, or I would not turn to them so often.

I am not proud of them, nor do I like them, but as a measuring stick anxiety and anger they are handy.

Example of Using a Spiritual Yardstick

The other day I was in a meeting. A fellow raised an issue, and I disagreed. At that moment, he became my antagonist, and I felt myself growing angry. All the symptoms were there:

• face flushed
• muscles tense
• voice rising

Being aware of anger and anxiety as measuring sticks, I stopped mid-sentence and pivoted my attitude. The quick measurement of my anxiety and anger showed that I was not relying on God.

Recognizing this, I said to myself, “Thy will be done.”

I mentally turned my “Golden Key.” I got up, refilled my coffee and sat down to listen to my antagonist. He was still wrong, but I could listen and formulate an argument against his principles, not his personality.

Practical Steps to Pivot From Anger to Trusting God

This approach doesn’t mean I immediately become serene. What it does mean is I have a practical, repeatable way to measure my progress toward serenity.

• If I’m angry or anxious, I know I am not fully trusting God for outcomes.
• If I am surprised more than anxious, I’m moving in the right direction.

Keep the measuring stick close. Use your emotions as a map—every angry or anxious moment is a signpost pointing to where your spirit needs attention. With repeated practice the signposts become milestones.

Books to Support Your Twelve Step Journey

If you’re looking to explore Step work, spiritual awakening, and personal transformation more deeply, check out The GEMS Series: 12-Step Shares, Notes and Thoughts. These books offer insights, reflections, and real-life recovery experience that complement the journey through the Twelve Steps.

The books in The GEMS Series: 12-Step Shares, Notes and Thoughts can be purchased through my estore or the major online book retailers. Look for GEMS, More GEMS, Still More GEMS, and More GEMS Revealed.

FAQ

Q1: What does “measuring stick” mean in this post?
A1: It’s a metaphor — using anger and anxiety as indicators of how much you’re trusting God and progressing spiritually.

Q2: Does this method require faith in a specific religion?
A2: The example uses theistic language (“Thy will be done”), but the steps (notice → label → pause → reframe → listen) can be adapted to secular recovery practices as well.

Q3: What is the “Golden Key”?
A3: The Golden Key is a personal spiritual anchor — a short phrase or action that helps you switch from reaction to a calmer, trust-based response.

Q4: Will this make me instantly calm?
A4: No. It’s a practical, repeatable practice to measure and gradually shift your reactions over time.

Q5: Can I use this technique outside of AA meetings?
A5: Yes — these steps work in meetings, at work, at home, and anywhere emotions arise.

Q6: How do I practice this habit daily?
A6: Start by simply noticing physical signs of anger/anxiety and using one short anchor phrase when they appear. Consistency builds change.

Q7: Are there recommended books to support this approach?
A7: Look for recovery and spiritual-growth books that focus on mindfulness, prayerful surrender, and emotional awareness. Check out Andy C’s GEMS series.

Q8: What if I don’t believe in God?
A8: Replace “Thy will be done” with another anchor (e.g., “Let it go,” “Breathe and choose,” or a secular mantra) — the process remains effective.

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