Crotchety Old AAs and the Stories That Stayed With Us
Crotchety old AAs. They exist.
“I burned my life to the ground and pissed on the ashes.”
A young man in our AA group said that.
After the meeting, I talked with a fellow who came into the Program around the time I did, many decades ago.
He commented on the young man’s share. He said it was a symptom of one of the many changes in AA.
I asked him to elaborate.
When Rock Bottom Looks Different in Alcoholism Recovery
“That young man’s wife threatened him with divorce, but he is still at home. He almost lost his job, but his employer paid for treatment. He had a DUI, but only one, and he has an open Uber account.”
He paused to take a sip of coffee.
“He didn’t burn his life to the ground and piss on the ashes. He scorched his ass and peed his pants.
“When we came into the rooms, the old-timers had burned their lives to the ground and pissed on the ashes. They had lost everything; they were wrecked, completely destroyed.
Some had lost:
- financial empires,
- great fortunes,
- standing in the community,
- homes,
- families,
- reputations,
- and nearly all hope.
Those stories made a huge impression on me.
“These young newcomers today don’t hear the great destruction stories. We don’t see the steam still rising from piss on the ashes. And that is a loss.”
The Success of Finding AA Before Losing Everything
I do remember those old-timers, and yes, their stories made an outsized impression.
But my friend had missed the best part: alcoholics like our young friend at the meeting were coming in for help earlier.
They were not “riding the truck all the way to the dump.”
Scorching your ass and pissing your pants was enough.
That is a huge success.
And much of the credit goes to those old guys in days of yore.
Books to Support Your Twelve Step Journey
If you’re looking to explore Step work, spiritual awakening, and personal transformation more deeply, check out The GEMS Series: 12-Step Shares, Notes and Thoughts. These books offer insights, reflections, and real-life recovery experience that complement the journey through the Twelve Steps.
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FAQ
Q: Do you have to hit rock bottom before AA can help?
A: No. Many people find help before losing everything. Coming into recovery earlier can be a sign that the message is reaching people sooner.
Q: Why do old-timers in AA tell such intense stories?
A: Those stories often show the destructive power of alcoholism and can make a deep impression on newcomers who are still deciding whether they need help.
Q: Has rock bottom changed in alcoholism recovery?
A: For some people, yes. Rock bottom may now mean seeing the danger before every relationship, job, or possession is gone.
Q: Is getting help early still real recovery?
A: Yes. If someone recognizes the problem and seeks help before total collapse, that is not a weakness. It is a meaningful recovery success.
Q: What can newcomers learn from older AA members?
A: Newcomers can learn from the experience of people who lived through deeper consequences and stayed sober long enough to pass the message on.
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