I was 19 years old. We were at a cottage on the lake. We started early on Friday and partied through the night to the following day. It was Saturday, 530 am.
The party was flagging, and four of us were the last ones standing.
We decided it made perfect sense to have breakfast at an all-night truck stop down the road.
One of the guys had a car. Laughing and joking, we piled in and took off down the country road.
The car was an old, noisy beater. It once had been a good car, but with no maintenance, time and miles had left their mark.
The fellow sitting in the passenger seat, using a loud voice to be heard over the noise, yelled, “the engine and transmission are making a lot of noise.”
From the back seat, I added my two cents, “it’s not just the transmission; I think the muffler and exhaust are falling apart as well.”
Our drinking buddy, who was driving the car, grew tired of the criticism. Using his outside voice, he said, “don’t worry, I’ll fix that.”
He reached over and turned up the volume on the radio. Way up.
Shouting over the rock music, he said, “there, problem solved.”
We all laughed as we rattled and rolled down the highway.
But this is not merely a drinking story; it is an analogy. For me, drinking was like turning up the radio to drown out the noise of life.
When my friend’s car was new, it ran fine, but he did not maintain it. Things wore out with age and miles; by the time of our road trip, it was a noisy beater. To hide the problems, he turned up the volume of the music.
My life was like my friend’s car. When I was young, I was on a good life path. But I refused to grow up. I refused to mature, to maintain my character. Refusing to grow up, to maintain my life, parts of my character were shaking, rattling and banging around.
Finally, I came to AA and stopped drinking. But without drinking, I had lost my radio. I had nothing to drown out the noise. The rattling and banging of my character defects were clear; I could not hide them.
I heard and saw that I had to deal with my character defects. With God’s help, I began to work on a spiritual maintenance program and grow up. I had to. And I thank God for all of that!
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