You hear some outstanding shares at AA meetings. Things that make us laugh ruefully.
One chuckler: “I was drinking heavily, hallucinating and out of touch with reality. It was difficult, but I learned to live with it.”
We could relate to this description of living; our drinking and drugging habits permeated our lives to such an extent we thought them normal. Our choice of company reinforced this perception. We sought companions who would drink like us and convinced ourselves that our behaviour, though often outrageous, was within the boundaries of normality. We became accustomed to the strange world of an addict.
We were like the fish swimming with his companion who remarked, “Isn’t this water grand?” To which his finned friend replied, “What water?”
We were deeply and profoundly unaware of the truth about ourselves. And we only realized this truth after a period of abstinence. Only after a period of sanitary or clean living did we see the strangeness of the thinking we had allowed to grow in our lives.
This is true of our addiction and our lives.
Recently, I had my shoulder joint replaced with metal and plastic parts. The old arthritic joint was gone. So, too, was the pain. After recovery from the surgery, I became aware of the absence of the pain. I pointed this out to my doctor, who laughingly said, “We doctors have learned many things, including, when we stop beating our heads against the wall, we notice a reduction in pain.”
For drinking and arthritic shoulders, fixing the problem makes us aware of the pain of our old way of living. It may take some time, but it will come. This is true for all the behaviours in life that are causing problems.
The gambler only sees the whole problem as he stops gambling and saves all the money he was gambling away. The fellow who compulsively turns to porn only sees the issue when he refrains and realizes his relationship with his girlfriend has improved. The addicted shopper only sees the scope of the problem after she has stopped.
It has been my experience and observation that this realization process is only possible when I live mindfully and take regular inventories of my behaviours and relationships. When I am mindful and aware (taking inventories) of these conditions, I can see them for what they are.
If I am not mindful and not taking regular inventories, I am like our fish friend, answering, “What water?”
Related posts
The Gravity of Addiction
Forgiving and Forgetting
We need to “shoulder” our pain Andy and put our “shoulder” to the wheel!