The topic at the meeting was, ‘sobriety is a long game.’
The more I pondered this aphorism, the larger it became. It is a great truth for sobriety, but its truth becomes even more remarkable in a larger context.
I have worked the principles of the 12 Steps into my life for a long time; over the decades, I have dramatically changed my understooding of God.
In the first decade of my sobriety, I came to know that God ‘is.’ This understooding was more than mere belief and faith; it became knowledge of a fact. I experienced God as a live presence, not a theoretical possibility.
In the second decade, I came to see and believe that God was both aware of me and interested in me. At that time, this was not good news, because my understooding of God was an Old Testament God, violent, erratic, and judging.
Then in the third decade, my understooding of God and his nature changed. I experienced the possibility that God loved me.
In the fourth decade of working the 12 Steps into my life and experiencing many awakenings, I concluded, “If God loves me, should I not love myself?”
Now, in the fifth decade of this long game, I am coming to truly and properly love myself.
My spiritual growth has been glacial. Slow and inexorable, carving deep channels into my heart and mind.
Massive change is possible if I divorce myself from a timeline.