Why Character Defects Can Be Hard to Release
I am more willing to give up character defects if I have accepted that God will care for and protect me.
Defects of character work. They solve problems presented by life. They are good tools, and I am happy using them.
The Short-Term Payoff of Defects of Character
For example, losing my temper because someone said something that offended me can make the person shut up, and it feels satisfying. The offensive comments stop, and the immediate satisfaction of my ego is a wonderful combination. It deals with the problem effectively.
Another example: I am feeling poorly and less than. What could be better than a sexual conquest to fix that problem? Or maybe some shopping. Something to gratify my selfish desires.
But these character defects have long-term problems, and they make my life unmanageable. It is hard to give up something that works, especially when the problems associated with the solutions come so much later.
And it is hard to give up these solutions because they are pleasant, entertaining, or enjoyable for some other reason, sometimes a combination of all three.
Without them, I have to endure the pain of life’s problems:
- things that aren’t going my way,
- a feeling of lack or inadequacy,
- and situations that are unjust or problematic.
Practiced Reliance on God in the Recovery Journey
But if I am sure God will care for and protect me, it becomes easier to let them go.
I don’t need the solution; I just need to be convinced I can rely on God, my Higher Power.
And I have found that the convincing is in the doing. I tried it on small things and worked my way up to larger problems.
It was not theological faith; it was repeated, practiced reliance. Reliance that worked.
That is God as I have “understood Him.” Being convinced that God would care for and protect me helped me allow defects of character to be removed.
Books to Support Your Twelve Step Journey
If you’re looking to explore Step work, spiritual awakening, and personal transformation more deeply, check out The GEMS Series: 12-Step Shares, Notes and Thoughts. These books offer insights, reflections, and real-life recovery experience that complement the journey through the Twelve Steps.
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FAQs
What are character defects in AA recovery?
Character defects are patterns, reactions, or habits that may once have seemed useful but now create unmanageability and harm in recovery.
Why can character defects be hard to give up?
They can be hard to give up because they often solve an immediate problem, feel satisfying, or protect the ego, even when they create long-term trouble.
How does trust in God help with character defects?
Trust in God can make it easier to let go of old solutions because a person no longer has to rely only on self-protection, ego, or selfish gratification.
What does practiced reliance mean in recovery?
Practiced reliance means learning to depend on God or a Higher Power through repeated action, starting with small things and growing into larger trust.
How do character defects make life unmanageable?
They may bring short-term relief, but over time they damage relationships, deepen selfishness, create consequences, and keep a person stuck in old patterns.
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