A fit young man at our AA meeting began his share with an athletic reference. “I run marathons,” he said.
“You have to be entirely ready to compete in a marathon. And by the time you are entirely ready, you have done a lot of work.
“Hours of running and training are required to be ready.
“And you cannot fake this work. If you’ve not done it, you will not succeed. You might have a great start, but you’ll run out of gas and die, long before the finish line.
“Removal of defects is like a marathon. You have to be entirely ready. And, by the time you are entirely ready, you have done a lot of work.
“You have turned your will and your life over to the care of God; you have conducted a fearless and searching moral inventory. And you have thoroughly reviewed this with God and another human being.
And, like running a marathon, you can’t fake it. If you’ve not done the work, you will not succeed. You’ll start strong but run out of gas, long before you finish.”
This share rang true. I imagined myself running a marathon.
In my current condition, it would not be pretty. I have not done the work to become entirely ready; I could sprint for a few hundred yards, and then I would have to stop to catch my breath.
And I thought of the times I have said, “I am sorry for doing or saying that.”
Another heartfelt amend. At that moment, I would say, “Never again.” At that moment, I thought I was entirely ready. But at that moment I had not done the hard work required.
I might do well for a few days, but I would run out of gas, revert and manifest the character defect again.
Defect removal or marathons, I need to be entirely ready. And if I am entirely ready, I have done a lot of work.
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Now trudging into my 39th year of recovery I find myself in the middle of an exhaustive Step 4 via Alanon. Did I fail in my first three Step 4’s over 30 years ago? I thankfully will suggest good heavens NO! It is indeed a marathon and I am forever grateful in humbly accepting Alanon into my life just over a year ago. (on the heels of my father dying and shortly thereafter my eldest brother) I have heard it said in AA (more than once) I have “won the lottery” in this thing called life ….albeit I dont “see it” most days. As a “double winner” now, its a blessing to have this self perception rather than a “double whiner” Thank you Bill Lois Bob Anne and all my fellow travellers trudging this amazing road in recovery! 🤝
This is a great comment Greg, thanks.