I came to AA and found two dimensions: The Program and the Fellowship.
At first, I paid more attention to the Fellowship than the Program. After a few years, I had a great Fellowship, but a terrible Program. Meetings, the meetings after meetings, coffee sessions, 12-Step work, Service work – all these were great and kept me sober. But there was more, and I was missing it.
Coming to AA had been a Gift of Desperation. That got me to the Fellowship and kept me sober. But the Program and the spiritual awakenings and growth that could have been mine needed something more. I needed troubles. Troubles stimulated me to explore the Program and take the Steps. Troubles were the subsequent Gifts of Desperation, which led me to consider the Program and take the Steps.
That is when I learned the wisdom of the aphorism “coming to the Program and not doing the Steps is like breaking into a bank and not taking the money.”
During a particularly difficult patch, I started to pray, at the suggestion of my sponsor. It worked. Then later, I did an inventory, and it worked as well. Troubles, which were the Gifts of Desperation, drove me to ask for help from a sponsor and follow directions.
Then, without troubles, or another Gift of Desperation, my sponsor suggested that I try working the Program without a crisis. He suggested that I take a year and dwell on one Step per month for a year. That was great and started a life habit of dwelling on a Step, thinking about it during the day, and looking for applications of that Step as life unfolded.
Then I started an inventory habit; taking a personal inventory every year on my AA birthday and combining that with a 5th Step Confessional Conversation to identify the Exact Nature of the wrongs that I recalled in my Personal Inventory and then working on removing them with God.
These helped habituate the Steps in my life.
When I am asked, “what Step are you working on?” I have an answer.
What is your answer?
Related posts
Spiritual Maturity
The Unexpected Gift of Bad Gratitude
Thank you Andy.
I resonate with the aphorism about “breaking into the bank and not taking the money.”
And the year long suggestion of a step a month is a great practice.
I am grateful for you taking the time to share your experience and practice