Cultivating, trimming, and maintaining resentments

I am spending a lot more time on the west coast these days.  They have carefully cultivated gardens and shaped hedges that are amazing.  The hedges in some gardens are carefully tended and trimmed into fantastical shapes.  They are like colossal bonsai trees. 

Bonsai trees require years and decades of pruning, care, and attention to shape and grow into beautiful but twisted shapes.  The gardeners come back every day for years and carefully prune the leaves and branches to create the tree’s shape.  The growth of the tree is pruned to make the branches twist into unnatural shapes.  It is marvellous to see; and we can ponder how long it has taken to grow such a wonderful plant.

The tree is loved and nurtured and cared for in every detail.

At a meeting someone recently referred to their ‘bonsai resentments.’

We collapsed in laughter. 

Of course, I knew what he was talking about.  Like a bonsai gardener, I will nurture and care for my resentments — pruning and shaping them with slight revisions in history. Soon the resentment is blossoming and shaped so that all can see that it is not my fault.  It is twisted but elegant.

The good news is that my bonsai resentment, like a bonsai tree, has only one trunk. Once I know the exact nature of the resentment, I can cut the whole thing down and it will die on the ground.

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