The subject of the conversation was ‘people-pleasing.’ The topic had come up at our Home Group Tuesday night, which we had attended the night before.
As we talked, we saw the topic, which is very common at AA meetings, was more profound than we realized.
I started by saying, “I needed people to like me; I craved approval and affection.”
My sponsee pointed out another aspect of ‘people-pleasing,’ a duty to make people happy. He would flatter, agree and say things to make people feel comfortable; his job was to make the world happier.
Then, back to me.
I shared how sometimes, when I entered a store for the first time, it crossed my mind, “How have they survived this long without me?”
In the conversational exchange, my sponsee was next; he agreed with the feeling of entering a new store. And he added, “if a clerk helps me, I must buy something to make him happy.”
I pointed out that these people-pleasing actions were symptoms of an enlarged ego; people-pleasing was an ego trip.
He laughed and said that we needed an AA T-shirt, a plain shirt with the caption, “Thank God That I am Here!” printed on the front.
I laughed and pointed out the double meaning of this T-shirt idea. The phrase should be printed twice, once with an exclamation mark and once without.
The shirt would show gratitude and humility at an AA meeting by saying, “Thank God I am Here.”
Anywhere else, “Thank God I am Here!” with an exclamation mark, ensuring that all around him would know to be grateful for his presence.
We agreed that such a shirt could be a hot item in AA circles.
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