After our AA meeting, we went for coffee with a newcomer. I wanted his phone number and asked if he had a cell phone.
“Of course,” he said as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.
Something about the tone of his response led me to ask, “Do you know how to use it?”
Everyone laughed, including our new pigeon.
But he lied about his skill with the phone. He did not know how to use it. He never called any of us, and did not call back when we called him. He was radio silent. After a few weeks, he was drunk again.
In another meeting, the secretary asked, “Is anyone coming back after drinking?”
A young man, whom we recognized from meetings a few weeks ago, raised his hand. We all said, “Welcome, good to have you back.”
The Secretary asked him, “Would you like a list of names and phone numbers for people to call if you need help?”
Another member called from the back of the room, “Give him a new list. The one you gave him last time didn’t work.”
Everyone laughed because the list was fine. He had never called anyone to ask for help.
There is a point to these stories. Picking up the phone and calling someone is a good idea, all the time and at any time, both when you need help and when you don’t.
If you call, you get to practice using the phone. When you need help, you will use your phone with practiced ease.
If you don’t call, you lose the habit of using the phone, and it becomes difficult to call when you need help. You will be out of practice; it will feel strange.
When you need help and don’t call, it does not usually end well.
When you don’t need help and call, you get some practice. And since things are going well, it will be a short call. You won’t take much time.
The bottom line, pick up the phone and call, frequently.
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This article with the anecdotes about newcomers, calling open or not calling) is SO TRUE.
There’s a reason it’s called 1000 pound phone but wow, a little bit of effort goes such a long way when we reach out. We feel so much better once we have taken the courageous step of calling people we have met in AA
Thanks Roxana. Thinking of you today at the Half Noon meeting.