I complimented my wife recently; I said, “you are losing weight.”
“No,” she replied, “if anything, I have gained weight.”
Rather than start an argument that could not possibly end well, I replied, “well, never underestimate the value of a good tailor.”
We dress up to look good.
The right dress will make a woman or man slimmer and more attractive. And the wrong can make him or her look fat and less appealing. Think of the overweight man wearing a horizontal striped shirt. The horizontal stripes enhance his girth; he looks obese. Alternatively, a woman who favours short skirts highlights her finely shaped legs; the final product is attractive.Â
Clothing can make the good appear better, and the bad seem not so bad.
We dress our defects in the same way we clothe our bodies, and with the same effect. We can make the good better and the bad not so bad. We dress up behaviours and habits to make ourselves feel and look better, with both right actions enhanced and destructive behaviours disguised.
We dress up expected and normal behaviours to make them look better. I think of a fellow at an AA meeting, claiming enormous spiritual growth, evidenced by his driving that afternoon. He reported that another driver cut him off in traffic. Exercising restraint and demonstrating tremendous spiritual discipline, he did not chase the offender, pull him over and smash his windshield with a tire iron; though the thought occurred to him. No, he merely honked his horn.
We dress up destructive behaviours to make them look good. I think of another AA business meeting where a long-time member challenged a two-year member who had put his hand up for a service position and was about to be acclaimed to the position. The challenge was belligerent and unkind – demanding to know if the young aspiring service member had read the AA service manual and understood his responsibilities. After the meeting, the long-timer explained his tone, saying, “we have to ensure that our trusted servants know the rules.”
In our inventories and post-inventory reviews with our sponsors, we undress our defects. When our behaviours are undressed and stand naked before us, we can see that not attacking another in road rage is commendable but expected; and, “I was protecting AA” cannot excuse a verbal assault on a service volunteer.
Inventories undress our defects.
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