Explore the surprising benefits of forgiveness in making amends. Find out how forgiving those who have harmed you is a necessary precondition for healing.
step 8
Step Eight: Writing the name clears the mind
Clear some mental real estate
Unscripted
I was in Alabama at my Wednesday AA meeting. A speaker meeting.
The speaker told the story of a newcomer he met years earlier. The newcomer, holidaying in Gulf Shores, had called AA for help. He was passed on to our speaker for a Twelve Step call. They met for coffee.
Naughty or Nice?
“Step #8 is the Christmas Step, making a list and checking it twice, goanna find out where I was naughty, not nice.”
Learning from Amends
In Chapter 8 of the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Bill W. makes a point about Step 8 of our Program — with amends we can and should extract as much as we can about ourselves and how we are acting and working. Step eight and nine can yield as much information about ourselves as Steps four and ten.
Asymmetrical Forgiveness
Based on my experience, forgiveness is a necessary part of Step 8. Step 8 is the precursor to Step 9. And we know from Dr. Bob’s story the importance of Step 9. So, forgiveness is important.
I have found that if I have made an effective amend, somewhere along the line, I have forgiven the person for whatever they did to me. Sometimes it is unconscious, becoming willing seems to include forgiveness in some situations. But more often it is a conscious part of my Step 8 process.