You can’t explain the fabric of your life with one piece of thread.
The cloth of life is made of many threads woven tightly together. Drinking was one thread, but not the only thread in the fabric of my life.
I imagine my life as fabric, cloth created on a loom. The weaver sits in front of threads mounted on the loom. The threads look like strings on a harp. The weaver passes his shuttle back and forth, trailing threads of life between the threads mounted on the loom. With each pass of the shuttle, the weaver presses the pedal with his foot. With a clatter, the loom crosses the threads, and he is ready to pass the shuttle back through in the opposite direction. One pass at a time the cloth is woven and emerges from the loom.
There is a design on the cloth. As the loom shuttle moves back and forth, the design is not apparent, but when you stand back and look at the cloth emerging from the loom, the design becomes clear. The various colours and threads used by the weaver display the images and symbols of life. And there are many images in the design, some dark and others bright. Some pretty, some ugly. Some discordant and others harmonious. Together, they tell the tale of my life.
Drinking was a large and colourful thread. It was part of my life’s fabric. But it was only one thread of many. There were business threads, family threads and sporting threads, and relationship threads, health threads, and learning threads as well. Some of the threads were emotional threads, like anger, love, and fear.
When I stopped drinking, the alcohol thread was no longer available for the weaver to include in the fabric of my life. And that absence affected the design in the cloth emerging from the loom. That colour was missing from the fabric after I stopped drinking.
But everything else stayed the same. The other threads that made up the fabric design continued as the loom shuttle went back and forth.
In Step #12, we are directed to “practice these principles in all our affairs.” Drinking was my main problem. That is why I started the AA program. But it was not the only problem; it was only one thread. I had to deal with all the threads in the fabric.
There was no question; when I stopped drinking, life got better. A lot better. The colours and shapes in the cloth were brighter and more harmonious. But the fabric still had difficult patterns. I stopped drinking and didn’t deal with the anger threads. These threads, without the alcohol thread, stood out more dramatically than before. Because I did not deal with other problems, the fabric of my life still had patterns and symbols that were horrible.
There was a lot of work ahead. Anger, compulsions and obsessions, women, websites, family relations – these were all areas that could stand a good housecleaning. Or perhaps a thread-cleaning.
Dealing with the other threads has allowed me to see new and harmonious designs in the fabric of my life. No longer is the design in the cloth dominated by the black anger thread or the red sex thread.
New threads have been introduced, like a pastel love thread, which has made the fabric much prettier and stronger. And a divine thread that has introduced grace, poise, and serenity into the fabric weave. If I am practicing Step #12, I am working on a better fabric, not just a single thread.
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