I was young in the Program. My sponsor had arranged to meet a newcomer at our regular AA. I was the wingman on his Twelve Step call.
The newcomer showed up; we had a chat before the meeting. It was clear that our new friend had a problem. He described the usual chorus of voices talking to him about his drinking. His wife, boss, and police were all in harmony and singing the same tune, “you have to stop drinking.” He had called AA to calm them down.
The meeting started, and after the meeting, we went for coffee.
Over coffee and cake, our new friend pushed back, resisting the idea of coming to AA and working a Program. He was critical of many of the people at the meeting, and he thought he was too busy for this. After all, he was not the problem; his difficult life was the issue. If everyone got off his back, he would be fine.
I struggled to meet his objections, trying to persuade him that he should keep coming back.
While I argued with the newbie, my sponsor said nothing. But he looked concerned. Finally, just as the pigeon was launching into yet another argument, he stood up.
“Come on,” he said, looking at me, “we are done here.”
Astounded, I blurted out, “you mean we are just going to walk out and leave him here?”
“Right,” he replied, “get your coat.”
Turning back to the newcomer, he said, “here’s ten bucks, go have a drink, have the first one on me.
“I only ask that you remember this; if the stuff hits the fan and you get drunk again, it started with you having the first drink, the one I bought. When you are ready, come on back, you will be welcome.”
With that, he tossed ten dollars on the table, and we left the startled pigeon. Driving away in his car, I said, “boy, that was harsh; I didn’t think we could leave a guy like that.”
He turned and said, “God blessed us with alcoholism, then gave us the Program. We are tools fashioned by Him; our job is to carry the message to as many suffering alcoholics as possible; if we spend all our time working with guys who don’t want what we have, we ignore others who want what we have if they could hear what we have.
“And if he’s an alcoholic like us, he’ll crash and burn. And as you know, a good hard bottom is a valuable thing. He’ll be ready, and he will know where we are.”
Related posts
The Unexpected Gift of Bad Gratitude
Half the Effort
