I am posting a series of blogs on my favourite Program activity, Inventories. I love them and never tire of them. The benefits are clear and well worth the effort involved. And the more I do, the easier it gets.
Part 1: Spiritual Maintenance
Part 2: Moral versus Personal
Part 3: Writing the Name
Part 4: Special Names
Part 5: Just the facts, ma’am
Part 6: How were you affected?
Part 7: What was my role?
Part 8: The Confessional Conversation
The best is last, Column #4.
In Column #3, I saw patterns emerge in the free flow of words that came to mind as I described how I was affected by the facts of my life. Because they were on paper, I could not deny the repeated words and phrases that bubbled up from my subconscious.
This unveiling of word patterns continues and is deepened in Column #4.
Doing an inventory, and seeing problems emerge before my eyes – was like drinking a glass of milk with a stone at the bottom. When I raised the glass to my lips, I could not see the stone. When I started to drink, it was just another glass of milk. Then as I drank the milk, the rock at the bottom of the glass emerged, in front of my eyes.
In the same way, patterns emerged when I emptied my mind onto the paper, letting the free flow of words complete the column. I could not B.S. the paper.
And when I shifted to using a computer, the pattern recognition become even more clear. The first time I did my annual inventory on an excel spreadsheet, technology revealed the patterns as I made entries in Column #4. As I typed words that came to mind into the Column #4 cells, the autofill function began prompting words and sentences that I had previously typed. Word patterns emerged with the autofill word prompts. I was stunned by the frequency. The autofill function on my computer confronted me with the reality of what was bubbling up from my subconscious. The patterns emerged as clearly as they used to emerge with pen and paper in the old days.
Patterns in my life were revealed, hitherto hidden in plain sight. These subconscious tendencies and thoughts manifested in my behaviours. But I had no awareness of them and their operation in my life.
Every time I have completed an inventory, I am surprised. With the honesty demanded by pen and paper and excel auto-fill, hidden patterns emerged.
Looking back, I can see that sometimes the lack of awareness as a result of denial, sometimes delusion. But other times, it was merely ignorance. Either way, I would often say, “Wow, I did not see that coming.”
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