This is an essay based on my experience with the Step that immediately follows the Inventory Step.
What we commonly refer to as the 5th Step could also be called the Conversation and Confessional step. Conversations and Confessions about the inventories. The Conversation and Confession step is like a power attachment on the inventory tool.
This Step follows the inventory process in the 10th Step as well.
Once I had done the steps a couple of times, I found that I was doing an inventory, then the Conversation and Confession Step. The ‘moral’ inventory of Step 4 had merged with the larger ‘personal’ inventory in Step 10 into one inventory step. This inventory is then followed by the Conversation and Confession Step.
In the Conversation and Confession Step, we take the inventory and talk to ourselves, then God. Then finally, another human being.
First, talking to myself, which I used to do in my mind, I now do out loud. Talking is a different psychological and mental process. In talking out loud I recall events, think about them and formulate thoughts differently than silently writing. Talking out loud is a great practice for talking to God.
After I talk with God, then I talk with a good advisor, a 5th Stepper, in the AA jargon.
Talking, as mentioned, seems to have a different thought process. It is as if I am shining a light on the inventory and the defects that are revealed. When I write, the light shines from left to right, I can see the left side of the defects clearly and the shadows are on the right. When I talk, it seems like the light is shining on the defects shines from right to left and I can see the right side of the defects and the shadows are on the left. Combined, I see the whole defect without shadows.
In addition to the fuller and more complete perception, it is in talking that I tease out the right words to express the defect. Particularly in the back and forth with a good 5th Stepper.
Together we search for the exact nature of the defects. With writing and talking, I have begun to frame a more precise sense of the defects. My perceptions are more clear.
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