The newcomer and his sponsor met for their first coffee. Their conversation focused on the Steps, but the sponsor had some closing advice on a daily habit.
He said, “We find that connection with other alcoholics is important. Some addiction experts say that connection is the cure for addiction. That is why we describe AA as both a Fellowship and a Program.”
“But connection will not happen by itself. I make three contacts a day. Three times, by phone, text, or email, I connect with another AA. Even when nothing is on my mind, I connect. If they cannot pick up, I leave a voicemail.
“Three points of contact.
“You have my number and the meeting list from the meeting. Try it for a few days.”
They left the coffee shop and met again four days later.
“Did you make three connections a day?” asked the sponsor. The reply was interesting.
“Yes, I did not want to call anyone for fear of bothering them. And asking for help seemed lame. But I finally picked up the phone.
“The first calls were hard. Then, I made one call that changed everything.
“The guy I called was having a bad day. He was happy that I called; he said it made his day.
“I was helping him, not him helping me. I was so wrapped up in looking lame and afraid of bothering him that it had not occurred to me I could help someone else.”
The sponsor had always preached three connections per day. He thought it encouraged newcomers to ask for help. Now he saw that the obverse was also true: even a newcomer could help someone else.
The newcomer helped others and taught this old-timer a new lesson.
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