We are very clear in our 12 Step work with newcomers: “continue to drink and the choices are slow death, institutionalization, or insanity.”
We rely on fear of drinking to motivate and compel the actions that we know will result in recovery. And for many, it works. They identify with our stories and we can see the fear in their eyes. But until that wonderful mix of fear and desperation is apparent and clear, we often see serial failures and slips.
Finally, we see that fear in their eyes and we know that the confidence in their own ability to ‘lick the problem’ has slipped away; they have hit a solid bottom. Then recovery starts with a genuine commitment to the steps.
Immediately, they transition to hope.
Again, the process of identification that worked so well with fear comes into play. We offer hope in our own stories. Building on the identification process that we started in the early 12 Step call, we show by our own recovery and the recovery of thousands of others in the Rooms that this can work.
The stick is desperation and the carrot is hope.
But it starts with desperation. When we have that Gift of Desperation, the magic starts. For some, it is days, others months. Some stay dry while the Gift is being delivered; many slip. But when the Gift arrives, they start to work the Steps and participate in the Fellowship. They begin to grow up. At some point, they become sentient Members of AA, capable of independent thought and action. They are baking the Steps into their lives. Then the story begins anew. They carry forward because they are growing and shaping character and maturity.
And the hope is fun! 12 step and service work are both fun. The program is fun when we work it well. We have friends and experience true happiness, joy, and new freedom. These are not extravagant promises. Sometimes quickly and sometimes slowly, the program becomes fun.
We watch the transition from fear to fun.
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