This post is for the word freaks in the crowd.
Words are really neat. And some words are just fascinating. The other morning, I received a new word from my ‘Word For A Day’ app. It was the best word I have had for years.
omphaloskepsis
PRONUNCIATION:(om-fuh-lo-SKEP-sis)
MEANING: noun:
1. Contemplation of one’s navel.
2. Complacent self-indulgent introspection.
ETYMOLOGY:
From Greek omphalos (navel) + skepsis (act of looking, examination). Ultimately from the Indo-European root spek- (to observe), which also gave us suspect, spectrum, bishop (literally, overseer), despise, espionage, telescope, spectator, and spectacles.
Earliest documented use: 1925.
I shared this definition with my wife, who is very familiar with my Program. She laughed and said, “you would run into that a lot.” I thought she was laughing at my AA friends and their self-obsessed habits. I think in retrospect that she was laughing at me.
I can tend to omphaloskepsis.
Knowing that I tend in this direction already, I stay away from anything that focuses me on I. Like “putting my name first on my amends list.” I already think about myself way too much.
Not only do I think about myself too much and too often; I think about myself in a bad way. My self-thoughts are not along the lines of “To Thine Own Self Be True,” my ‘self’ thoughts are much more damaging. I think about my little emotions, fussy little slights that against me, and in particular I think about how I look. I am obsessed with how I feel and how I look.
It is complicated. I worry about what you think about me. And I worry about what I think you think about me. If you could look inside my head, you would be amazed at the complexity of some of the resentments that carry around.
But, when I think about myself in the correct manner, I can live the AA motto “To thine own self be true To Thine Own Self Be True.” These thoughts are thoughts about God’s will for me; and thoughts of character development and elimination of defects. These are good thoughts.
I am directed to think about myself. The Fourth Step and other parts of the Program demand that I think about myself and dwell on my past. But it is constructive and contributory thinking. Not the destructive and useless brooding on wrongs done or perceived, or daydreaming about what I wish I had and what I want. The problem is not that I am thinking about myself. The problem is how I am thinking about myself.
When I am in the right frame of spirit and mind, I can think about myself with balance. I am not holding and opinion of myself that is either too high or too low. I have, what Bill W. defines as true humility, a true and accurate assessment of myself and my situation.
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