The topic of the meeting was Step #12. One fellow asked, how do you know when you have completed Step #12?
Several insightful shares followed along these lines, “we never stop Step #12, we continue to carry the message to other alcoholics,” “Step #12 is a lifetime practice,” and “Step #12 is not a Step, it is a way of living.”
Then the last fellow shared, pivoting the discussion to a more interior view; he said, “I don’t know when I have completed Step #12, but I sure know when I am back at Step #1.”
That share ‘rang my bell.’
I recalled working with my first sponsor. We worked through the Steps, and I had a spiritual awakening as a result. It was not a full awakening, just enough for me to stop drinking and stay stopped. Starting at Step #1 and admitting that I was powerless over alcohol, then working through the remaining eleven Steps had achieved this result.
Life was good, and I was thriving and prospering.
Then, I learned the truth of the adage, “if you sober up a drunken horse thief, you still have a horse thief.” In my case, “if you sober up an angry man, all you have is a sober, angry man.”
Through several personal inventories, I saw and had to admit, I was powerless over my anger and my life was unmanageable. I was back at Step #1. I did the Steps again, starting with, “I admit I am powerless over my anger – my life is unmanageable.”
Since then, I have come back to anger as a powerless problem, and I have applied the Steps to my sex life, sporting life, and marriage. I have gone back to Step #1 for smoking, eating, and other escapes. In this way, I have applied the principles to more and more of my affairs.
I am never sure when I have completed Step #12, but I can tell you when I am back at Step #1. And so far, I have not exhausted the defects of character to which the Program can apply.
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