“How are you feeling?” “How are you doing?”
Both questions, feeling and doing, are polite greetings, but they are different.
Asking “How are you doing?” is to ask for a more meaningful reply. Doing is more important than feeling.
Our feelings hide our doings. We often hear AAs complain that they have not progressed after 3 or 6 months of sobriety. They don’t feel changed. But talk to their families or fellow workers; they see the changes in behaviours. To them, the changes in doing, are apparent and dramatic.
On the other hand, we sometimes hear AAs say that they feel they have made great strides. Then we watch them impatiently honk their horns at a car that is not moving fast enough or at an AA business meeting rant over the brand of coffee purchased at the last supply run. They feel improved, but they are not doing improved.
There are other differences.
Feelings are fleetingly ethereal; we can dismiss them. But what we are doing is tangible and cannot be dismissed.
Feelings are subjective; doings are objective. My feelings are personal, but my doings are in the world.
Taking this on board, I will, in the future, strive to ask, “How are you doing?” and then pay attention to the answer and measure its correspondence to what I can see.
More importantly, turning this back onto me and my life, I will ask myself, “How am I doing?” and then pay attention to the answer and measure the correspondence to what I can see.
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From Frank Amos and his report to John Rockefeller in 1938
Forgiveness: A Spiritual Virtue and Practical Tool
I like it and doing well, today☺️
How true ….
Doing vs Feeling
Feelings can be short or long and situational.
How you are doing (an action word) is more of a true measure of success in AA.
Actions will always speak louder than words, thoughts, and feelings as people can hide behind these emotions when asked.
Doing is measurable and will all show the righteous truthful path if one is willing to change….
Today is my 11 month birthday and what a difference in how I am DOING! 😎
Good afternoon I will ask other people like my room mate or family members how they think I’m doing and ask them to be honest about it there perspective is usually more reliable than mine