In Chapter 8 of the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Bill W. makes a point about Step 8 of our Program — with amends we can and should extract as much as we can about ourselves and how we are acting and working.
Step eight and nine can yield as much information about ourselves as Steps four and ten.
Making a list of people we have affected and then making the relationship right is like holding a mirror up to our actions. We can see the reality of who and what we harmed. We can see the consequences of what we have done.
We all know the expression, “I cannot hear what you are saying because of the volume of what you are doing.” Actions speak louder than words at all times and in all circumstances. The results of our actions have a similar volume.
When we make amends, we have not just our version of things. We have an interested party and often ask them, “Have I covered everything?” and find to our horror that from their perspective, we have missed a great deal of the harms that we caused.
Often our ‘affected persons’ have suggestions as to what we can do, or cease doing, that we had not considered.
So, Steps 8 and 9 are great feedback loops to show us more about ourselves.
Related posts
Measuring Progress: Focusing on Actions Over Feelings
The Crown Jewel of the 12-Step Program: Discover the Power of Making Amends
